| | What a change it's been being back in LA - it feels familiar but totally different too. I'm such a different person from the person I was when I first left. And in some ways, I still feel like the same person..which is, I think, a good thing too. A question often lingers in my mind regarding this - when do you think your core persona is formed and settled? I wonder if there is a certain time in our lifetimes where the core part of who we are is pretty much rock solid. You buffer the winds and waves but essentially you are the person you are, and it's hard to change. Except, do you guys think that traumatic events can change your core persona? I'm not sure.. I think traumatic events may cause a term of depression or erratic behavior, but I'm not sure if personality completely shifts in the long run. Anyhoo, those were just some random thoughts floating around.
So, LA. :) It's nice to be back. Although a part of me is certainly still dealing with SF community separation and getting used to not having the people around me that I usually do, it's been a good time..and heck, it's only been a week! I think things will become more clear as time passes and loose ends with career and family get tied up. I just realize there is so much stuff going on down here too, and it's a really good time to be back because I just needed to be here for these events/occurrences. I will be praying for God to reveal to me more and more what He wants me to do here, and it may just be that what He wants is nothing more than to stretch the love I have for my parents and strengthen my endurance as I'm out of my comfort zone (which is probably wherever my parents don't happen to be!). Now that I'm back in the line of fire, He's perhaps able to use me in more mysterious ways than ever before, no matter how crazy painful it gets. There's no hiding or avoidance, there's just confrontation and daily life with the loved ones in your life who are often hard to love. What a decision, but it is one that will challenge and grow me. I will be asking for prayer daily to show and be an example of this love, and also for God to reveal to me the different things He'd like me to do and explore in this vast city..and home of mine. Kind of overwhelming..don't know where to start!
Some of the things I intended on thinking about or exploring more when I got down to LA:
-Being more involved with Ascend's LA Chapter, the professional organization that I was involved with briefly in SF
-Get involved (I'll start by joining a small group.. just joining) with the community at Evergreen, it'll take some time
-Support Asian American artists, performers, etc and promote AA's within media and entertainment.. in a way without being exclusively race-centric. I know it sounds like a contradiction but I honestly want to promote ALL artists, performers, etc.. I just don't see that AAs get a lot of positive representation when I wish that we did. Anyhow, if anyone knows of ways that I could get involved, I'm definitely open to ideas!
I'm going to see if it be God's will that I do any of this.. but I'm excited. I'm evaluating my involvement with things critically though because I just want to make sure I don't over commit, and that the things I commit to are the things I feel strongly about. Right now, I'm just straight chillin'. I've been a bit lazy, because I've definitely been craving the quality time I've been having with myself since the last few weeks in SF were just crazy (but wonderful!). Haha. Re-energizing..
Let's hang out if you're in LA - and come visit if you're in the bay area! :)
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| | Posted 5/10/2009 12:53 AM - 32 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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